Hammer’s Christmas List

David Girvan | December 8, 2015

Dear Santa, please could Hammer have these creepy gifts for Chrimbo??

1. Haunting of Hill House Tickets!

© Liverpool Everyman & Playhouse

First an obligatory piece of Hammer product placement! Click here to pick up the gift every horror fan wants!

2. Tarantula Vial Necklace

© HyenaMedicineCabinet

# All I want for Christmaaaaaaaaas, is anarachnidinasmalljarhangingaroundmyneck #

3. The Black Orlov

© Kojewel

This is definitely one for the high-roller, or the museum curator, or the jewellery thief. A huge black diamond, allegedly cursed after it was stolen from a Hindu shrine by a sticky-fingered monk, the Black Orlov was handed down through the generations to a number of women, many of whom became possessed to take their own lives in decidedly grisly fashion. The diamond was since bought by a collector, who claims to have broken the curse. So do get in touch with your bid!

4. Surprise ZOMBIE’S FINGER Bookmark

© UncannyCreatures

Considering books have spines, it’s perhaps a natural step forward that they now have fingers. Albeit bloody, rotting, zombified fingers…

5. Bloodshot Vodka

One for the boozy Twlight fan in your family (a niche market), unfortunately this doesn’t contain real blood… but certainly contains real booze.

6. Human Tooth Necklace

© TrndMonitor

© TheExcuse

 
No, they’re not real human teeth, but what you add to the necklace after purchase is up to you. Go crazy. Go literally crazy and put human teeth on your necklace…

7. Human Skin-Bound Book

© WordPress

If you’re really looking to impress (or disgust), why not get your loved one a nice book… bound in human skin? At one time this practice was much more common than you might expect, with mentions of skin-binding dating as far back as the 13th century. Many of these books can still be found by the observant customer, so keep your eyes peeled.

8. Human Tongue Soap

© GloomMatter

© GloomMatter

There’s no better way to get that squeaky clean feeling than to wipe the wet tongue of a stranger all over your body, right?!

9. Neckline Slimmer

© Amazon

What, in God’s name, is that?

10. Candle Holder – Doll Head with Glowing Eyes

© GloomMatter

Etsy’s description below this macabre curiosity reads, “A doll was decapitated today, its eyes gouged out making it beautiful”… Perhaps one of these illuminated heads could be a thoughtful gift to help combat your kid’s night terrors?

11. Horse Head Squirrel Feeder

© McPhee

© Gizmodo

Make your local squirrels become unwitting pagans with this horse head mask/feeder!

 

12. Rib Cage Accent Lamp and Shadow Caster

© GloomMatter

Regular lamps are so sappy. Shake yours up with this rib cage shade and shadow caster!

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